As a comply with as much as my latest publish about packs of javelina ravaging a flowery golf course in Sedona, Arizona, I’m sharing this good article that Stan Engle, a sort member of the Boing Boing Boards, placed on my radar. Written by “A. Javelina,” it is titled “I ate all of your treasured golf worms and I might do it once more.”
It begins out like this:
Oh, is your treasured grass all torn up? Your bluegrass/rye combination, so uniform, so manicured, now a heaping pile of ugly grime after I acquired my tusks and snout in there to get at some scrumptious, scrumptious earthworms? Are you going to cry about it?
Go forward and whine about it to the state authorities. See what they do! I am going to simply lie right here within the shade, digesting these juicy worms and desirous about my subsequent meal: I feel I smelled a bunch of grubs beneath that creeping bentgrass you name the sixteenth inexperienced. I am gonna invite much more of my mates over subsequent time.
Javelinas do not belong on golf programs? Buddy, your golf course does not belong in javelina nation. I used to be right here first. I am a javelina, often known as a peccary or, colloquially, a New World pig. That final one is a clue to how lengthy we have been right here: I am not really a pig. We are the Western Hemisphere’s closest relations to swine, which suggests we cut up off from them and settled right here when you have been nonetheless a monkey in a tree—apes did not even exist but, not to mention “Arizona.”
This panorama was a porcine paradise. Seeds and berries, roots and vines, and bugs! So many bugs, extra bugs than you can shake a hoof at. A veritable ungulate eden, a inexperienced and moist valley oasis in the course of the unforgiving desert. We have been comfortable right here, and well-fed. And then you definitely needed to go and evolve and cross the Bering Land Bridge and invent civilization and irrigation and construct the Seven Canyons personal golf membership in Sedona. Look what this was once like earlier than you ruined it for us!
Learn the remainder of this hilarious kick-ass piece right here. And, GO JAVELINA, GO!
